Christmas

I wrote this Christmas letter for my family and it's a pretty good recap of my year. Merry Christmas.

2012 shall forever been known as the year of change, understanding, and self discovery for the Kim's. Every year it seems like we look back and say "What a crazy year" but holy Regis Philban, this has been a year. Usually this is the time to brag and state random facts about each member of the family, but really how many of you care about my high school schedule? So the plan for this letter is to share with you our experiences so that you can learn from them as we have.

Overall the year had been going smooth I had finished my sophomore year and was on to summer swim team. Nothing major happened because we are the Kim's and wild stories tend to evade us. Everyday I woke up, went to swim practice, came home waited for my parents to walk in the door after work. Now it's funny because most of you probably didn't even take notice of the fact that my parents both walked in the door. The reason you did not notice is because a simple detail such as walking is usually forgotten about. We tend to overlook the routine, we come to expect it.

Lesson number one : appreciate the routine, the ability to walk and to be alive is a gift and should not be forgotten about.

Everyday was routine, swim team was coming to an end and league finals were the last event of the season. The first day of finals my mom and I loaded up the car and drove to Winfield. I swam my first two events and was sitting in the tent waiting for my last event of the day. If at this moment my mom decided to go put our things in the car, or if she decided to go get something to eat, or checked twitter for a minute out stories would be different, we would be different people our Christmas card would probably mention our dogs successful eating habits. But that's not how our stories goes anymore. That day I witnessed my mother get crushed by a tree, I didn't know if she was alive actually I was almost are she wasn't. All I knew was that my mom was there and then she was gone, and I missed everything she did. I missed her habitual worry, and questioning, I missed everything good and aggravating about my mom.

Lesson number 2 : you never know that you will live to see the end if the day, or live to see those you love. Cherish everything and every second you have with the people in your life, and tell those you love that you love them every chance you get.

Next thing I knew we were in the hospital, The Paula was in surgery, and I was in a room full of family and family that's not blood related (I think they're called friends?)

Lesson number three: friendships are what get you through the hard times. Appreciate them and be there for them whenever you can.

Next we learned how severe The Paula's injuries were and began to see the long road to recovery. After days in the hospital and a surgery or two we moved to a rehab hospital where The Paula learned how to get into a car, and use a wheel chair. But 5 months since here we are. The Paula has gone through a wheel chair, crutches, a cane, and now has even ventured out with no assistance except my dad's hand. And we are almost back to normal.

Life is crazy and impossible without love. I couldn't imagine making it through this year without the love from our friends and family, the love from all of you. This year has been a crazy one so take a second to breath and appreciate everyone and everything in your life.

Live from New York
Meow and out

- Justin

Compulsion

I have this compulsion to write right now (<---- write right lulz) I feel like if I don't say something I will be forgotten. I feel like the world is passing me by and usually that would be ok except I am no longer helping others, or pushing myself to learn from my own life. All I want from my life is for someone to hear what I have to say, I want to help but I feel like my words are meaningless.

My friend is hurting and I don't know how to help. I can only offer bumper sticker advice and then crack a joke. I feel like something is wrong with me, why can't I help? Why does it feel like I know what to say but I can't? I'm sorry that half of what I think, I can't get out of my head. Maybe one day I will, but as of now I feel like a mute.

So that's why I am writing, I don't really have a message or challenge, I just want to write so I can be heard and possibly help. I need a purpose or drive. I need a reason to experience things otherwise I'm just here and I might as well not exist.

So scream from the rooftops don't be forgotten because you have something to say. Do not be passed by, because you see things no one else can see. Yell, write, paint, be heard, or more accurately be felt.

Maybe I did have a challenge,

------Make a difference------


More to come

J€ Keem

Free?

Slaves to ourselves. That's what we are slaves to the standards set by us and for us. For instance right now I'm trying to figure out my life, and by life I mean senior schedule and college plans ( it's funny how true/untrue that is ) and I came to the realization that I don't have to take Calc(HELL)ulus if I don't want to. Or actually anymore soul sucking math EVER... In my whole life.... And it makes me itchily happy.

My life doesn't have to revolve around what classes I take, or the job I get, I can do whatever I want. It's funny because we feel indebted to our society, as if since we were born alongside all these other people, we owe it to them to take Calculus, or to be successful, or be great. Yes it would be awesome if in someway you helped those around you, but if you lose yourself in the process did you REALLY help anyone?

It's like we woke up in this strange place and were pushed into these itchy clothes and backpacks and classes. I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS. I don't recall deciding that this is what I wanted for my life, but here I am sitting in an A.P. European History class corrupting my brain with monotony. I should be out becoming a person not becoming a number.

Right now at this time in my life all I want to be is a bird or maybe a cloud, I want to sit on the floor or the roof of my car and just exist. I want to introvert and discover what and who I am and I want to grow and become better. I'm a child with a name trying to act like an adult with an entire personality and put together life when really I don't know who I am or who I want to be.

I saw this poster that said "Repeat after me: I am free"

I am free to buy name brand clothes, I am free to act like everyone else, I am free to drive myself to my own prison cell to work for 7 hours, I am free to then drive myself home and continue to work on said prison work for the next 4 hours, I am free to get a job, I am free to get a nice house with a grand piano I can't even play. Freedom????? Yes.

If when you do something you feel yourself die a little, my advice would be to Stop. Find what makes you happy and what makes you a better person, learn something new at school or at work and call that a success. You are more than a number you are incredible and you have a voice that no one else has. Don't ever lose yourself in the crowd always be you because no one else can.

I think I kind of like you (girlish giggle)

- Juan Keem

Here's a picture of a cat, shaved to look like a lion.

Floor

I sat on the floor today. Whilst eating lunch because someone took my cookie. That was the best part of my day, sitting on the floor under the tables. And I realized that sometimes I like to be by myself which is usually not me. I'm loud and opinionated and I use my hands ridiculously when I talk, thinking about it I believe all of those things are due in part to my childlike size. But that aside I'm loud and usually I'm comfortable being in the middle of conversation.

But I found out that sometimes I like to eat by myself and just enjoy the quiet, which is not old me at all. And then I realized that an important part of understanding yourself and the world around you is to get a new perspective (sometimes surrounded by feet). Mrs. Gregory, the art teacher at my school always tells us to stand on our chairs, step back, close an eye to see what you've done from a different view and decide if you like what you see.

We get so caught up in whatever is the loudest or the brightest, we forget to take a second and just be. In my house I get in trouble for laying on the floor for hours at a time, mostly because it looks like I'm not doing anything, which sometimes I'm not. But three times out of five I'm laying and thinking, and being, just being. It's great to be, not to be a student, or a class president, or anything with a title, but just to be.

This whole trip idea I created because I needed something to look forward to, I need adventure and some passion and I need to get away. I need some time to sit and be, free of distractions and responsibilities. I've already learned so much just writing down these ideas that run through my head and I can't imagine how much I will change and learn because of operation Michele Lasercat Obama (trip name isn't final) I've already learned from operation Michelle Lasercat Obama and it's still three years away.

To say the least I'm really excited about the future and in excited about my new perspective on life and I'm excited to see myself change. And if by chance you're out there reading this, I hope you can ascertain (<--- word I know) something from my life and experiences. And I'm really excited that I have you to write to with all of my grammatical errors and I'm glad I get to share my life with you.

Sit on the floor. Eat some good food. Learn something new. Be happy.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight.

-Lasercat D.d.s.

Quantify

I've found it. I've found the/a fundamental flaw of society today. We are stuck in this frantic competition trying to meet the cookie cutter perfect score polo and Saturday croquet life. We are born originals and spend our lives trying to become average.

Have you noticed that everything that "matters" in life has a number, grade point average, weight, salary, square footage, height, test score we're trying to classify perfection rather than experiencing perfection. We live in a society where a person's numbers matters more than a person's potential. We've taken out personal interaction and replaced it with reports and numbers and facts and figures and robotic bull.

Education today is a perfect example. We've taken the beautiful exchange of knowledge from one person to another and made it a disgusting competition. Why can't I go to school learn something I didn't know and call it a success? Because that's not what life is about Justin, life is finding adequacy from others rather than finding satisfaction in yourself.

Have you ever noticed how ridiculous high ranking military uniforms are? It is a man/women in a costume that is supposed to tell everyone around them that they are above them. If they are really that impressive, shouldn't I be able to tell without the neon sign of ribbons and ropes? We don't need these classifications, greatness should be felt not seen or heard (This thought ends abruptly no apologies)

Challenge time, since I guess that's what we're doing here.
- Live a life that you find successful, ignore the urge to quantify yourself and just be your own success.-

Catz rule Babies Droool

- Juan

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On a different note, the trip that was mentioned in the first post has been the inspiration for all of the realizations I've come across, this blog is the manifestation from my everyday life of the soon to be trip that I'm going to take.

Also that dweeb in the picture is my best friend Liam who's going on the foretold trip. I SWEAR I HAVE FRIENDS.... believe me

- J dolla