Friends aren't very friendly

The first thing I was told after writing my first ever post was "I think it's stupid". I fell in love with a jacket and was told it was too big and I was trying too hard. I was trying to be supportive and was told "your decisions scare me, you let the world influence you, I am uncomfortable being around you". The week of homecoming none of my friends voted for me. When I lost they laughed and said "Justin thought he had it in the bag". My friends aren't very friendly. My friends like to see each other fail. They love being the best and hate when they see others succeed. I am writing this because I want them to understand that I am not here to impress you. I will live and love as I do only for me, whatever competition we have agreed to I would like to officially resign from. I want to be friends with people who invite you to their prom group, who put your name up for Hollyball king and queen, who are excited when you do well, and who make you better. If you cannot offer me positive direction I don't want you as a part of my life. Gardening has always scared me because sometimes to make a plant grow you have to cut off all of the parts that have died. So I stand here ready to move on. To only pursue those who make me smile. To cut away the parts of my life that have dried up. I am thankful for your influence in my life because you have made me see what I really want. But I think we all know we aren't who we were, and we can't be who we were, we can only be who we are today. And what we are is different and things just aren't the same. 

                          8/30

-J